College & the learning disability



First, it is important to understand that there are many different types of learning disabilities and that learning disabilities affect everyone differently. How I experience dyscalculia and dyslexia may be completely different to how another person, or even my own siblings, experience it. Here are links to websites about Dyslexia and Dyscalculia for more information. 

I remember when I was twelve years old my mother sitting me and my younger siblings down in my baby brother Liam’s room to tell us she thought we might have somthing called dyslexia. I am sure she went on to explain exactly what dyslexia was and how it might be affecting our ability to learn and do well in school. It didn’t really matter to me all the details of what exactly dyslexia was, all that mattered was that this meant I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t dumb. Or less than any of the other kids in my grade levels. To me, all that mattered was that there might finally be a reason I wasn’t able to read out loud or memorize facts quickly, and why it had taken me longer to learn to read, and why my reading always seemed to be slower than other kids.
Three years later when I was fifteen I was officially diagnosed with a learning disability. My learning disabilities were not officially labeled as dyslexia and dyscalculia, but as a “math and learning disability”. Because of where we lived at the time, dyslexia or dyscalculia was not yet considered a diagnosis.

Even though I received an overwhelming sense of relief at being diagnosed with a learning disability I have always felt like I am cheating by telling people I am dyslexic. And I have realized that it is because I have always felt like someone else might struggle more with their learning disability so why should I get accommodations for my learning disabilities. No letters move around on the page when I read, my handwriting is maybe mediocre but readable. It felt wrong to tell people that I had a learning disability because I didn’t feel like I was disabled. Being homeschooled my whole life I had not realized how much I was actually being accommodated for my learning differences.

At the beginning of my first semester in the Fall of 2016, I was optimistic that I could complete a four-year degree despite my learning difficulties.


 Sure, I still wasn’t completely thrilled about the idea of college but I wasn’t sure what else I was going to do if I didn’t continue with schooling. Before classes had started I was able to meet with my campuses Disability Support Survises (DSS). Disability Support Services is something all College campuses have and is set up to help make sure students with all disability types get the proper accommodations they will need throughout their college careers. After reading over my paperwork they approved me to receive accommodations. I was allowed to bring in audio recording device into class to help me take notes, I would receive extra time on tests, use a calculator in my math classes, and a letter was sent to all my teachers informing them of my learning disability.

Armed with accommodations I thought I would be able to make it through college with the same number of struggles as any other student.  
My first semester I made it threw four math classes before I dropped the class completely. I had always thought that dyslexia would be my biggest challenge in college. It turns out dyscalculia was affecting me more than dyslexia. Dyscalculia even more unheard of than dyslexia, is a math learning disorder. In the simplest terms, it means that my brain doesn’t process cognitive reasoning. I may be able to understand the steps behind solving certain math problems, but when it comes to working through the steps out on paper my brain can’t seem to make it work. If this sounds confusing don’t worry, it doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me either.

Because of my math learning disability, I was placed in a remedial math class. I was embarrassed at first to be in a remedial class, but my math skills are pretty much stuck at a third-grade level. It would be almost imposable for me to ever make it out of a remedial math class. The only way I could make it through college with all the math credits I needed was if I could get a math class substitute or have the classes waived completely. 

After talking with disability support services I found out in order to even consider having the math classes substituted I would have to first attempt a whole semester of a college level math class. Having a substituted math class simply means I can exchange doing say a college level algebra class for a business math class, which is easier for someone with dyscalculia to take. And to get the substitution I would have to pay for and attend a higher-level math class. A class I would definitely not be able to pass because of my learning disability. I found out that the school I was attending would not waive math classes, no matter your disability and that to graduate you must complete all math credits.  
  
After months of meeting and emailing with the school, I started to feel like my problems weren’t important enough. 

 Was I going to have to continually prove my disability over and over? In the end, Disability Support was not going to be able to give me the accommodations I needed. Having to continually attempt and fail a class when you know at a certain point your brain won't process the material anymore was extremely discouraging. For me, having to attempt multiple math classes wasn't worth it.  
My learning disabilities are not the only reason I decided to leave college, but it was still a major reason. And that’s why I felt I needed to share this part of my story. Learning disabilities are invisible, you often won’t know someone has a learning disability unless they tell you. A learning disability doesn’t mean that the person who has one is dumb or slow, their brain simply processes information differently. Someone with dyslexia or dyscalculia is very capable of earning a college degree, but not without the proper accommodations. My hope is for people to become more aware of these issues and maybe help make college a little more friendly to people with learning disabilities. 

 I used to hate saying that I have a learning disability, even when I was first diagnosed with dyscalculia and dyslexia I would never call it a disability. For me disabled just wasn't a word I would use to describe myself. After attending a college math class my views on the term have changed. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary disabled means "Impaired or limited by a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition." Impaired or limited. I think I used to believe that saying I have a disability makes me weak, or less than a person without a disability, learning or other. But really it just means you have to find different ways of learning.


Comments

  1. Well said! You are obviously a a sharp young lady with a bright future despite the setbacks.

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